I have been a “housewife” or “homemaker” for a long while now, about 9 years altogether or thereabouts. Before this, I was a successful career woman (my hubster was a full time stay at home Dad) but my health took a turn for the worse and my hubster and I swapped places. I thought it would be easy peasy! Man, I was wrong about that one….
When you hear the words “housewife” or “homemaker” what comes to mind?
The first thing that pops into my head is the classic stereotype of the 1950s super woman; immaculately dressed and made up, perfect house and kids, husband’s slippers warming by the fire for his return from a busy day at work. Haha! I once challenged myself to keep a 1950s housewife schedule for a month – it was beyond hard-core! I have so much respect for my Grandmother’s generation. Those ladies were tough, frugal and fierce matriarchs!
The next thing that comes to mind is Pinterest bloggers….. I know, what does that have to do with home making? Well, I love Pinterest. I have about a million pins, on hundreds of boards and can get lost on there for hours! It’s impossible to avoid the bloggers though. The ones with sparkling clean homes (in their amazingly staged photos) who only clean with expensive essential oils and have amazingly well behaved kids who don’t eat any refined sugar, gluten, dairy, or grains. Know what I’m talking about? The ones with perfect hair and make up, smiling joyfully in the awesome pictures with their super slim bods in their on trend clothes. Yeah. Them.
Both of these ideas of home-making have a common thread; they are completely unrealistic and unachievable! And both of them, for the longest time, made me feel like crap. True story – because I don’t clean my home with several £40 bottles of essential oils, because my hair is never perfect and I wear make up about 4 times a year, because my kids eat dairy, gluten, refined sugar, grains and whatever else….. I felt like crap. Like a failure. Like a bad Mum and a bad Wife and the worst housewife that ever lived.
Anyone else feel like that?
But you know what I figured out dear reader? It’s not true! I am not the worst Mum, Wife and Housewife in the world; I do my best every single day, I love my kids and husband and they know it, and I love my little house too.
My home is just that – HOME. And I made it, with my hubster and kids; so therefore I am a homemaker! It may not be immaculately clean and fragrant, but it’s a welcoming space and people enjoy coming to visit here. We eat food that’s freshly prepared with love, and yes it contains the dreaded stuff BUT IT’S DELICIOUS. Our friends and family often comment on how much they love being in our home, and we regularly have to tuck a blanket over visitors that have decided to take a nap on the couch!
Once I started to look at my home in this way, seeing all the good things about it instead of focusing on the “negatives” it really changed everything for me. Not just with homemaking; looking for the positives in every situation has helped me so much in so many areas of life.
And I don’t mean positive thinking that blindly ignores problems – that’s called delusion – I mean acknowledging the tough stuff but finding the good in it too. That’s the ticket!
Home is what you make it. I want mine to be full of laughter and peace, freedom to kick your shoes off and put your feet up, where you can get a good dinner and a bucket full of encouragement.
What kind of home do you want to make?
Much love x